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It’s the perfect book to help you decide if the man you’re seeing is ready for a new relationship—and whether or not dating a widower is right for you. It doesn't matter how long they were married, how their wife died, or how long it's been since their wife passed on—widowers act, think, and grieve like men. When you think of widowers as men, you can better understand the motivations and reasons behind their actions and decide for yourself whether he's ready to move on and start a new life with you, or simply looking to fill the hole in his heart or for someone to warm his bed at night.When it comes to men, there are five things you need to know about them that affects their behavior after they've lost a spouse.1.(Meaning a relationship with HER.) It is to This Man — the one who knows how to love and is ready to do it again — that I advise a woman to extend kindness, patience and empathy. Your new relationship will have unique challenges you won’t find when dating single or divorced men.Men and women will take some amount of time to heal and get over the loss of a loved one. And this is why it isn't advisable to get into one before the grieving stages are over.But if you want to proceed with dating a widowed man, you may have to develop some understanding or empathy and shouldn't complain.And when it’s gone, he’s left with the kids (maybe) and his job (maybe). So if he knows what he wants and is ready for love again, he takes his search for a new partner seriously – and that’s the gem of dating a widower. But, as with all of those other big life experiences, being widowed isn’t the end of the story. Together they are traveling the world and running marathons. And it’s not like she had to ‘make him’ do it – he loved adding that to his life! Some have remained in great relationships with them (like Karen above). Look, here’s my best advice: know your must have’s, and go into every date looking for at least one thing that is RIGHT about him. It is true that some think they are ready but not (just like after a breakup, right? Don’t assume any specific number of months or years is required until he’s ready. In fact just writing that makes me feel like throwing up.

It also contains over a dozen real life stories from women who have gone down the same road you’re traveling.

One of the most important things I help women with is becoming good pickers – you know, being able to spot the gems even when they’re not the obvious, shiny ones. He probably knows how to love, communicate, commit, work through problems and misses being married. I dated several widowers in my single decades and had an extended relationship with one.

Having a good picker means not only that you learn how to spot and avoid the jerks, but even more importantly, that you don’t miss the really good guys. When a man is in a happy relationship he pours himself into it. We’ve experienced a lot: love, heartbreak, successes, failures – and having lost a spouse is a very real possibility. I have also spent the past 8 years closely observing many women as they dated Ws.

Just because he is dating you, does not mean that he is prepared for a serious relationship. But he will need some time before he overcomes the feeling that he is betraying his late wife by starting a new relationship.

But or course at some point, you may want to be able to cut that conversation off and focus on your relationship.

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